Thursday was a rest day. Friday is was back with Kalev. It was a tough day - my balance was off and most of Kalev's workout is based good balance(that morning I had a regular Americano instead of my usual decaf and so I was shaking pretty bad!!! No more caffeine!! That night I went swimming and did 2600 metres. Swimming is the sour point in triathlon for me. Even after 4 years it feels like work with every stoke I take. Thank goodness it's such a small part of triathlon. Felt good getting out of the water. Of the three disciplines of triathlon swimming is the one that brings on the Parkinsons symptoms. My legs cramp up as soon as I start kicking so I don't kick too often and the swim turns into an upper body workout which usually leaves me with very distinct tremors in my arms and hands. I remember doing a sprint triathlon - at the swim/bike transition it took me over a minute to do up my helmet. Thank goodness the Parkinsons only affects me in the swim portion - I have no problems on the bike or the run (as of yet).
Saturday, Gerry and I went cycling with some members of our tri club. It was a great ride with our usual stop in Steveston for coffee and conversation. Did about 70K. The rest of the day was spent watching football and hockey.
Sunday we went for a hilly hour and a half run in Stanley Park - torrential rain, wind and cold made it very memorable and we were very thankful when it was over. Then it was off to Church. We haven't been for a while and it was like a homecoming. Everyone we knew gave us a hug and such a warm welcome. It really is a shelter from the storms in our life. I am so thankful that we have such a great spiritual family.
Monday I did a recovery run at lunch and relaxed that evening. Tuesday we got up nice and early and it was off to the pool. Did 2200 metres and then off to work. Why can't swimming get easier!!!
My husband and I are the bike and run directors of our triathlon club so it was off to a New Members night. A great time was had by all. It is such a blessing to impart my triathlon knowledge on brand new triathletes (Newbies). I remember my first year!!! When we signed up for the 2004 Penticton Ironman, we thought we would just get a coach and do it on our own. I work out at a gym where I would see this guy working out. I guess he saw that I rode to the gym so he asked me if I had ever done triathlon. I said "just a few sprints" but that I had signed up for the Ironman. That got his attention. This wonderful man, Rob Herron
told me about the Pacific Spirit Triathlon Club. My athletic life hasn't been the same!! The long and short of that conversation with him lead to Gerry and I joining the club and me becoming the "Newbie Cycling Leader". A little sidebar - Up until that time, I had been a "loner" - I biked, ran and hiked on my own. But in 2004, I had made a commitment to myself, Gerry and God that I would come out of my shell and start sharing my life with others. Thanks Rob!!! My first ride as the leader of the group was very eventful - two crashes!!! I was ready to call it quits but with the help of Brian Lavery I learned how to lead. That year I had the most awesome group of men and women. It turned out that 7 of the 8 of us in the group were training for the Ironman.
- thanks to Perry Danforth of Danforth Photography who is also a triathlete and was a member of our 2004 Newbie group for this awesome picture. That Newbie group has the distinction of being the most cohesive caring group in club history. I could go on and on but you would have to experience it to really understand. Wednesday, core workout in the a.m. and another noon rendevue with Kalev - tough workout but I must admit I do love it. I never imagined at the age of 60 (in May) I would be capable of doing what I am doing. I thought I would be the typical Grandma, a little chubby and reading lots of books to my grandchildren. Not to be - at least not yet.
Occasionally on Thursdays, I go to the Point to pick up mail and get gas. This was my Thursday and I got to spend it by the ocean. Usually, I am quite restless but this visit brought peace as I allowed the waves and wind to calm my spirit. That evening I did a spin workout at Speed Theory, our bike shop on very tired legs - felt like a slug to begin with but after the hour workout my legs felt great. I guess they just needed to be warmed up.
Friday was another busy day - off to the gym in the a.m. for a core workout and then again at lunch to work on my upper body. Lots of energy!! That night it was First Night for our tri club. This is where all the directors and coaches are introduced to the members. It was a great turnout and everyone seemed very pleased with how we presented this year's program to them.
Today it was up nice and early for the first club ride of the year. Though it was windy and pouring with rain we had a good turnout. Lots of Newbies. Gerry and I took this group out and taught them the basic skills of riding in a group. I'm supposed to be leading a faster group as part of my training for Ironman but some of the Newbies have already asked if I would lead them. It's a tough decision. I love watching new triathletes as they develop their bike skills (especially in group riding) and become confident cyclists, but I also would like to experience leading a faster group. All in all, it was a great ride - now it's time to play "Susy Homemaker"!!
Life as a teenager was one of the toughest periods of my life. At age 10, we moved to Victoria and what a shock that was. We lived in a big old house on Juno Street in Esquimalt. It was financially very hard on my parents and though my mother loved my dad, she resented having so many children. I remember in one of her angry moments, she blamed her Catholic doctor for her having all of us. She said that if she could have aborted most of us she would have. That's something a child carries with them their whole life. Even in her 80's, in one of her angry moments, she told me I had caused her nothing but grief my whole life. Since then my mom has come to know the forgiveness of God and her heart has changed. I love her very deeply and have forgiven her.
I did meet a girl two doors down that befriended me. To my recollection, the next couple of years weren't too bad though I do remember crazy things going on in the woodshed out back. Both parents worked so we (now 6 children)were left by ourselves after school. I remember at 12, I would have to come straight home from school to make dinner and take care of my younger siblings. I hated it!!! Dinner time was spent listening to our parents talk about how much money we didn't have and we should all be thankful that we had a roof over our heads and food on the table. Not a word was spoken by any of the children over dinner - it was the parents' time to vent. Life for the next couple of years had its ups and downs - school all week and chores on the weekend - if I was lucky, I was allowed to leave the yard to play with the kids on the street on Saturday afternoon, but if I played with the kids on Saturday then I had to stay in the yard on Sunday. It was the same for all my siblings. Still can't made sense of those rules.
At 15, I was allowed to go skating in the winter and roller skating in the summer on Saturday night. I remember at 15, there was a roller skating contest at the arena and I thought it might be something that I could enter. Another sidebar - up until I was allowed to go skating, I had never been involved in any sports, mainly because of the curvature in my spine. At the age of 12, my parents were given the okay for me to start living a "normal life". The contest was to see who could skate the longest without stopping - not even for a bathroom break!! Unbeknownst to my parents, I entered. Well, 19 hours and 20 minutes later, I became the non-stop roller skating champion setting a Canadian record. Needless to say, my parents weren't too pleased. Their comment to me was, "after all the money we spent on you, this is what you do to us". I broke a Canadian record and made the newspaper but it was the beginning of a downward spiral with my parents. There were rules that I had broken and I would be punished for that. I can remember some girls coming over on a Saturday afternoon and wanting me to go for a walk with them. I asked my dad and he said "no". I started pleading with him - "all the housework was done and I wouldn't go out on Sunday - please let me go with them". The girls were watching through a window and I guess to humiliate me, dad took off his belt and started strapping me. After he had finished, a teary eyed, humiliated young girl was pushed out the door and told she could go for a walk with her friends. That was the last time anyone ever came to my house. That was also the year that I was assaulted by two army guys on the way to skating. It was dark and they grabbed me and threw me to the ground. One guy started the assault, but I fought back hitting him in the groin with the blade of my skate. It startled them and I ran off. I told people at the arena but it was just sluffed off - not a big deal!!
At 15, I had also become a little overweight and being quite well "endowed" I was given the nickname "Z-bra". When allowed, I would spend time with a girl who lived two doors down - I can't really say if she was a friend or not but we did spend time together. At 16, I went out with this very nice young man but we got home a little late (11 p.m.) We were saying goodbye in his car, when my dad banged on the car door, opened it and pulled me out. Once in the house, off came the belt and another strapping. Shortly after that episode, one Sunday night in late December, I was kicked out of the house. I'll never forget being pushed out the door and the few clothes I did own thrown out after me. I remember a friend's parents let me stay with them one night and then I was on my own. I had to quit school and somehow found a live-in babysitting job and moved in with this family. They had a son, David that I was to take care of. The mother worked at night and the dad worked shift work. Everything was a good as it could be when one night the dad came to my room drunk and tried to rape me - out on the street again!!! Do you see a pattern developing? Every encounter with a man was of a sexual nature. I somehow survived for the next while. When the mother of the girl who lived down the street from me found out I was on the street, she offered to let me stay there - of course there were conditions. The father was an alcoholic and a smoker. My job was to make sure that he didn't burn the house down when he was drunk. I also had to find a job and pay rent. I agreed and at the ripe old age of 16 was taking care of a drunk, working and paying rent. As I mentioned earlier I was overweight and got teased by the two boys in the family. One actually bet the other that I could lose 50 pounds. The scale came out and I weighed in at 155 pounds. To top it all off, my family lived two doors down and my brothers and sister were given strict instructions not to speak to me and if caught they too would be expelled from the family. When I would walk down the street and they would see me, they would just turn away. When my parents would be going somewhere in their car and they would see me, they too would ignore my very existance. I had become invisible - a non-entity. My life path was determined by the events of two households. As I said, the bets were on and could Barbara lose the weight. A $10 bet was made and I will never forget the next interaction I had with a woman that was visiting on that day. I turned to her and asked her advice on losing weight. Her answer to me started a pattern that would continue for the next 30 plus years. "Stick your finger down your throat".
I've written enough for today - I think I need a break!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment