Life has been full of lots of highs and lows this last couple of weeks. Training has been great and have only missed one swim workout. Saturdays have been spent in the saddle (bike saddle!!) and am feeling pretty good about my cycling. Last Saturday was the first time I took my cycling group out and it was quite interesting. At the beginning of each ride we (the coaches) tell our group how fast we will be going for this ride. I told mine that it would be between 23 & 26 kph. Quite a few hesitated at going at such a "slow" pace and opted for a faster group. I had six stay with me and we had a great ride averaging 26 kph. Quite a few of the riders that went with the other group ended up going faster than they wanted to and were pretty burned out by the end. Hopefully, they will realize that speed does not make them a faster cyclist. It just tires them out. It's like always running fast - so for any of you who would like to get faster on the bike, do your fast intensity rides during the week and long slow (steady) distance rides on the weekend. You will feel great after the ride and you will get faster!!!
Running has also been going well. Long runs on Sunday through the trails of Stanley Park - and the weather has been great!! Recovery runs on Monday and hill training on Wednesday along with a 20 minute run after my Tuesday and Thursday early morning spin sessions (that's called a "brick"). It gets your body used to transitioning from the bike to the run. I have tried running with some of the groups but because of my tendency to fall lately, I need to be able to see around me and focus on my body movement - one more Parkinson's issue. Lately, I've been seeing a Parkinson's infomercial on TV. It's very graphic and the thought of my body regressing to the state of the person in the infomercial who was diagnosed just six years ago is very scary. Please God help me to understand. But I have decided to dedicate this Ironman to Parkinson awareness. I have a proposal that I am going to put before my triathlon club and if they think it is a worthwhile endeavour I will go forward with it.
This week has been pretty tough but not for me. My wonderful daughter had some "news" for me on Monday morning. I had just gone for my recovery run and had a message waiting for me when I returned. By the sound of her voice I thought she had an interview with a company in Vancouver. Not so. "Mom, I'm pregnant". Not the words I had expected!!! With the situation in her marriage and the impending move to BC to start a new life this was a real shock. My words to her were "no matter what, I will be there for you". She was my "love child" and always will be. My prayer is that she will still come and settle out here and give Gerry and I the opportunity to be the grandparents that we so want to be.
My Ironman training will continue and I will be the best I can be but I now have an added focus. What an awesome year I have ahead of me. Lots of training, Ironman Canada, new grand baby in September, maybe Ironman Hawaii in October (if I qualify) and my other daughter's wedding in November.
My other daughter who is getting married is also doing the Ironman with me but she is training in Toronto - not a good thing especially this year. With all the snow and cold weather she hasn't had much of a chance to run or ride. Thank goodness she can swim - she is a great swimmer!! She has also been sick with constant colds and sinus infections. I keep telling her to focus on her upcoming marriage and not to worry about this Ironman but she is determined. The problem is that I live in a great place where you can literally train all year round so my base is great. She on the other hand will only be able to start in April/May.
Wednesday, I met with one of the Pastors at the church I attend. I talked about the impending birth of this baby as well as how Gerry was reacting and then we prayed. I felt such a release of anxiety. I had spoken to her about this whole Ironman thing and was this really where God wanted me. She asked me how I feel when I'm on my bike or running. I said "free". She responded with "who do you think gives you that feeling?" She then read a scripture which talks about an ostridge. It goes something like "when an ostridge runs it smiles". She then said "God gave the ostridge that smile and He's given you the same. Remember that when you are out there." We also talked about the fact that I don't have any close friends. When she got back to the church she sent me the following scripture "Prov 18:24 A man (or woman) with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend that stays closer than a brother." I ran after work and had a great hill training session. Had a wonderful conversation with Gerry and we both committed ourselves to being there for my daughter and the baby in whatever way will be necessary.
Today is Thursday and had a great start to the day. It was 2 degrees celcius and Gerry and I got on our bikes at 7 a.m. and did a couple of loops of Stanley Park and then off to work. Energized and ready to face the world. I had a great talk with a lady at the Parkinson's Society here in British Columbia and she thinks my fund raising idea is great. I hope the triathlon club executive has the same enthusiasm. Tonight I swim - I'm getting better at it and actually look forward to going to the pool. We have a great coach who really focuses on our technique (which is really what swimming is all about).
Well, just about ready to bike home. <><
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
How Fast the Week Goes
It's another Thursday and wow how time flys!! Spending time at the gym with Kalev has had to come to a temporary halt. My Ironman training has picked up and because I'm one of these type "A" people in the gym, I literally have no energy left after one of his workouts. I also find that the tremors seem to be more pronounced especially with all the extra training. I still go to the gym at least 3 times a week but not with such intensity. Living with Parkinson's is an everyday thing - never knowing how it will affect you that day. This last weekend was spent initially riding with the tri club - I got the chance to take a newbie triathlete out for her first 50K ride (on her mountain bike!!!). It's great watching someone gain confidence as they ride - she also got the chance to go over a very busy bridge for the first time. It was then off the Island to volunteer for a race in Duncan. I ran 10K before the run started, did my traffic controlling and then off for another 10K. Felt pretty tired by the end. I took Monday off which I really needed. Tuesday it was an hour spin on the bike and then a 20 min run - these are called "bricks". When training for a triathlon, you need to know what it's like to "run off the bike" and this is a good way to simulate the transition. Off to the gym at lunch focusing on my core and legs and then a nice restful evening. Wednesday, off to the gym again and then a great run workout - 20 minute easy run, 6 x 500 at 2:20 and then a nice 20 minute cool down. Gerry was off so he made me a nice dinner and we had a wonderful evening just being together. Up at the crack of dawn today for another bike spin and short run. Felt a bit stiff today.
I don't know if this is a Parkinson's thing but sometimes when I lie down I get pain that runs from my shoulders right to the tips of my toes. It's like every nerve in my body is on fire. Thank goodness it doesn't last long maybe a minute or two - then it's gone. I see my neurologist in a couple of weeks - another questions to ask him.
Pain - what is more debilitating - emotional pain or physical pain. From the age of 16 for me it was the emotional pain of feeling totally isolated. I am thankful that a family took me in but the circumstances and the conditions weren't exactly ideal. For those of you who have read my blog, I did lose the weight (by "sticking my finger down my throat" and one of the brothers did get the $10. Life became a series of lies and cover ups. Back in the mid-60's few people knew what bulimia was so those of us who suffer with it had no resources in our struggle. Initially it wasn't a struggle - you just ate and threw up and got skinny. The sad part was that now boys were noticing this thin girl which fed my disorder even more. I became even more emotionally isolated and honestly thought that by the age of 30 I would be dead. I had no real friends during that period. There were a group of girls that occasionally let me have a peak at what friendship could be. I remember once when I thought I was making inroads into their group - I called one of the group up and asked if they were going to go and hang out at the drug store by the arena - a normal activity at age 16. She said no, so I went off by myself. As I approached the store, there they all were and what do you think I did - I hid. That was the last time I even entertained the idea of friendship. The girl in the household that I staying at had no time for me - she was busy and once she graduated she was off to residence at a local nursing hospital. I can also remember my younger sister whom I hadn't spoken to in over a year seeing me in the bathroom at the local arena which of course was filled with girls. Her first and only words to me were "slut". This was the beginning of the constant thought of committing suicide. What was there to live for? I had no family, no friends and the black hole of bulimia was pulling me deeper into it. The saving grace in my life was "Hell". I didn't know Jesus at that point in my life, but I believed in Hell and I knew that if I took my life that I would be going there. (I can honestly say that right up until I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour suicide was a very luring alternative to life.") I stayed at this home until I graduated but shortly after graduation I became very ill - I couldn't stop coughing and ended up in the hospital. The reason why I couldn't stop coughing was that I had a chicken bone stuck in my throat and guess how it got there. Anyone that knows anything about bulimia knows that you become ravenous and can consume unbelievable amounts of food and that the purging process becomes your greatest high. You have total control!!! And in a lot of cases that's what the disease is all about - control. The problem is you are now controlled by food and once it has you, it doesn't like to let you go. After my time in the hospital, my parents wanted to reconnect with me. I was invited back into the home - I guess the scare of me being hospitalized again made them realize that they might lose me - for whatever reason I was back. I stayed there three months and saved enough money to go to England (it was 1967 and for a trip across the country by train and a one-way ticket on a cruise ship the cost was $260.00!! I lived in London for a year where I boarded with what I initially thought was a nice family. At this point, I was a full blown bulimic where everyday was spent both binging or purging. I had become a pro a deception so no one knew my dark secret. The "nice" family turned into a horror story. Every night the husband would beat his wife. Before they were married, they were in a terrible motor bike accident where he lost his leg. The wife married him more out of pitty than love. I gather he never abused her in the early years but then they had two children and frustration from life in general brought out the very ugly side of him. I remember she told me that she was pregnant with their third child and she was so excited. That night he beat her so badly that she lost the baby. "Well, I will just fall back into my own black hole where I am safe from the world. No one can hurt me there". After a year, I came back to Canada and was accepted by Air Canada for their flight attendants course. I met the criteria - I was 5'3" and weighed 105 lbs!!! To top it off my interview was as superficial as the criteria for eligibility. My interview took place at Hotel Vancouver in one of the rooms. There was a single middle aged male, myself and a bed. He asked me to stand on the bed and twirl. I did so - that was it!! He thanked me and off I went. I was hired and off I went to Montreal for training. That was where I met my one and only true friend. Her name was Annie. Talk about opposites. She was "fancy dancy" and I was cute and "blue jeansy". We shared the same room and I must say that for the next six weeks of training, I was free of binging and purging. We both went back to Vancouver and she invited me to come and live with her and her boyfriend. I soon fell back into the black hole of bulimia. I did my six months of training and then was given some time off before being assigned to a city. During that time I went back to Victoria and stayed with my parents. It was there that I met my first husband JP. We dated for a couple of months and I then broke it off and started dating another guy - John Smith. After a month I was off to Toronto with Annie (we shared an apartment there)to begin my life as a flight attendant . Little did I know I was carrying JP's baby. John was madly in love with me and came to Toronto. He stayed for a while and then was off to Europe for a year of travelling. I was pretty dumb when it came to the "getting pregnant" thing so when I started getting a bit of a belly I thought I'd better see a doctor. To my surprise I was pregnant!!! In one of my earlier postings I go into detail as to what happened next. I told John about the pregnancy and that it wasn't his baby. I also informed him I had contacted the father and was going to marry him. John came back to Toronto to try and convince me not to marry JP and marry him. At that point, we decided to hitchhike (it was a great trip!!)across the country to Victoria and I would make up my mind on the way. Needless to say, I ended up marrying JP in July of 1970 and a beautiful little girl was born in mid-September.
I think that's enough for today.
Barbara <><
I don't know if this is a Parkinson's thing but sometimes when I lie down I get pain that runs from my shoulders right to the tips of my toes. It's like every nerve in my body is on fire. Thank goodness it doesn't last long maybe a minute or two - then it's gone. I see my neurologist in a couple of weeks - another questions to ask him.
Pain - what is more debilitating - emotional pain or physical pain. From the age of 16 for me it was the emotional pain of feeling totally isolated. I am thankful that a family took me in but the circumstances and the conditions weren't exactly ideal. For those of you who have read my blog, I did lose the weight (by "sticking my finger down my throat" and one of the brothers did get the $10. Life became a series of lies and cover ups. Back in the mid-60's few people knew what bulimia was so those of us who suffer with it had no resources in our struggle. Initially it wasn't a struggle - you just ate and threw up and got skinny. The sad part was that now boys were noticing this thin girl which fed my disorder even more. I became even more emotionally isolated and honestly thought that by the age of 30 I would be dead. I had no real friends during that period. There were a group of girls that occasionally let me have a peak at what friendship could be. I remember once when I thought I was making inroads into their group - I called one of the group up and asked if they were going to go and hang out at the drug store by the arena - a normal activity at age 16. She said no, so I went off by myself. As I approached the store, there they all were and what do you think I did - I hid. That was the last time I even entertained the idea of friendship. The girl in the household that I staying at had no time for me - she was busy and once she graduated she was off to residence at a local nursing hospital. I can also remember my younger sister whom I hadn't spoken to in over a year seeing me in the bathroom at the local arena which of course was filled with girls. Her first and only words to me were "slut". This was the beginning of the constant thought of committing suicide. What was there to live for? I had no family, no friends and the black hole of bulimia was pulling me deeper into it. The saving grace in my life was "Hell". I didn't know Jesus at that point in my life, but I believed in Hell and I knew that if I took my life that I would be going there. (I can honestly say that right up until I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour suicide was a very luring alternative to life.") I stayed at this home until I graduated but shortly after graduation I became very ill - I couldn't stop coughing and ended up in the hospital. The reason why I couldn't stop coughing was that I had a chicken bone stuck in my throat and guess how it got there. Anyone that knows anything about bulimia knows that you become ravenous and can consume unbelievable amounts of food and that the purging process becomes your greatest high. You have total control!!! And in a lot of cases that's what the disease is all about - control. The problem is you are now controlled by food and once it has you, it doesn't like to let you go. After my time in the hospital, my parents wanted to reconnect with me. I was invited back into the home - I guess the scare of me being hospitalized again made them realize that they might lose me - for whatever reason I was back. I stayed there three months and saved enough money to go to England (it was 1967 and for a trip across the country by train and a one-way ticket on a cruise ship the cost was $260.00!! I lived in London for a year where I boarded with what I initially thought was a nice family. At this point, I was a full blown bulimic where everyday was spent both binging or purging. I had become a pro a deception so no one knew my dark secret. The "nice" family turned into a horror story. Every night the husband would beat his wife. Before they were married, they were in a terrible motor bike accident where he lost his leg. The wife married him more out of pitty than love. I gather he never abused her in the early years but then they had two children and frustration from life in general brought out the very ugly side of him. I remember she told me that she was pregnant with their third child and she was so excited. That night he beat her so badly that she lost the baby. "Well, I will just fall back into my own black hole where I am safe from the world. No one can hurt me there". After a year, I came back to Canada and was accepted by Air Canada for their flight attendants course. I met the criteria - I was 5'3" and weighed 105 lbs!!! To top it off my interview was as superficial as the criteria for eligibility. My interview took place at Hotel Vancouver in one of the rooms. There was a single middle aged male, myself and a bed. He asked me to stand on the bed and twirl. I did so - that was it!! He thanked me and off I went. I was hired and off I went to Montreal for training. That was where I met my one and only true friend. Her name was Annie. Talk about opposites. She was "fancy dancy" and I was cute and "blue jeansy". We shared the same room and I must say that for the next six weeks of training, I was free of binging and purging. We both went back to Vancouver and she invited me to come and live with her and her boyfriend. I soon fell back into the black hole of bulimia. I did my six months of training and then was given some time off before being assigned to a city. During that time I went back to Victoria and stayed with my parents. It was there that I met my first husband JP. We dated for a couple of months and I then broke it off and started dating another guy - John Smith. After a month I was off to Toronto with Annie (we shared an apartment there)to begin my life as a flight attendant . Little did I know I was carrying JP's baby. John was madly in love with me and came to Toronto. He stayed for a while and then was off to Europe for a year of travelling. I was pretty dumb when it came to the "getting pregnant" thing so when I started getting a bit of a belly I thought I'd better see a doctor. To my surprise I was pregnant!!! In one of my earlier postings I go into detail as to what happened next. I told John about the pregnancy and that it wasn't his baby. I also informed him I had contacted the father and was going to marry him. John came back to Toronto to try and convince me not to marry JP and marry him. At that point, we decided to hitchhike (it was a great trip!!)across the country to Victoria and I would make up my mind on the way. Needless to say, I ended up marrying JP in July of 1970 and a beautiful little girl was born in mid-September.
I think that's enough for today.
Barbara <><
Thursday, January 24, 2008
It's Picking Up!!!
It's been a week since I last blogged and a very busy week to say the least. Saturday is usually our long bike ride but the weather was cold, windy and snowing. We cancelled the official ride and but a group of us went out to the flat lands of Richmond and did a 32k ride. I was so thankful when it was over!!! Gerry was off so we spent the rest of the day doing errands. Sunday is usually long run day so off I went at 8 a.m. I wanted to go to Church so I ran for just over an hour and ended up there, enjoyed the awesome service and then ran for another hour with my destination being Delaney's on Denman. They make an awesome mocha!! Had a great afternoon relaxing and watching football - sorry Green Bay, wish you were going to be in the Superbowl. Monday and back to work. Spent lunch hour at the gym - felt great when I finished and off to the pool in the evening. Tuesday morning got up extra early and did a 1 1/2 hour bike spin on my wind trainer. Felt strong throughout the workout. Then it was off to the dentist. I am getting my temporary Hollywood smile today. Five hours in the chair!!! Thank goodness they gave me a sedative and then proceeded to freeze my mouth. Because of the bulimia I completely ruined my teeth and have lived with it for most of my adult life. For the first time in 30 years, I can smile with confidence!!! There was lots of pain after the procedure but I'm back up and running. Wednesday, I had a great workout at the gym at lunch, ran after working doing hill repeats and then off to the gym in the evening with Gerry to put him through a workout. Can't really eat anything yet because my mouth is still traumatized so I get to have my "chocolate monkey protein shake" three times a day!! I make it with skim milk, ice, banana, almonds or natural peanut butter, unsweetened cocoa and kashi cereal for some extra carbs. I put these ingredients into a blender and in 30 seconds I've got myself a very tasty meal. Today is Thursday and I'm taking it easy until this evening. I'm off to a spin class after work and then to the pool for a swim workout. This is how my life will be for the next 8 months but I love it. Well, I just emailed Ironman North America introducing myself. I have asked them if they will do a special interest story on my challenges having Parkinson's Disease and what the benefits of exercise have been in slowing the progression of it. I guess I'll know shortly if they want to use my story.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Back on the Horse
Woke up yesterday very stiff from the fall the night before but I'm still in one piece. Thought the walk to work would loosen me up and it did. Lunch time, it was off to see Kalev - thought he would go easy on me with my "injuries". Not so!! Do you know how many exercises there are that do not affect the hands or knees? Well, he found them and by the end of my session I felt sick. That seems to be the benchmark for a good workout now. If I feel sick to my stomach, I've worked hard enough!!! Day wasn't finished yet - it was off to a run session at Forerunners for an interval run session. Lots of people!! What they do is take you out for a 10 minute warm up, then intervals of 2 min. hard, 2 min. jog, 3 min. hard, 2 min jog, 4 min hard, 2 min jog and pyramid back down - then a 10 min jog back to the store. Even though I felt stiff to start, I was able to pick it up and felt good by the end. The Chi Running sure makes a difference. In fact, one of the runners from my group commented on my running style so I had a chance to tell her about Chi Running. Then it was home a quick snack and bed.
Today I woke up still feeling stiff. I was going to go to the gym at lunch but felt my body needed a rest so I did a core workout at work. I do a pilates workout - it's a mix of Windsor pilates along with a few more core movements that make it a bit harder - I've been doing this workout for over two years and have absolutely no back pain and if you have been reading my blog, my back has been the major issue in my life since birth.
I'm just about ready to head home from work and then it's off to a spin class tonight. That should work out some of the stiffness!?!
Today I woke up still feeling stiff. I was going to go to the gym at lunch but felt my body needed a rest so I did a core workout at work. I do a pilates workout - it's a mix of Windsor pilates along with a few more core movements that make it a bit harder - I've been doing this workout for over two years and have absolutely no back pain and if you have been reading my blog, my back has been the major issue in my life since birth.
I'm just about ready to head home from work and then it's off to a spin class tonight. That should work out some of the stiffness!?!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Wake up call
2006 - Heading out to do Ironman bike course in PentictonWell it's evening and my day ended not as planned. Came home run up to Gerry's spin class. Well, about a kilometre from the class I took a fall. Both knees and hands are pretty scraped up. This is about the fourth time that I have fallen while running. I have a pretty good idea why it happens. One of the symptoms of Parkinsons is stopping dead in your tracks - the problem when you are running, the rest of your body keeps going and usually right to the pavement!! One the bright side it was after dark and no one saw me, I didn't tear my tights and I didn't break either or both of my wrists (I also have osteoporis) nor did I crack my spine. I'll take the scraped knees and hands over all that other stuff. I feel a bit stiff but will be up and going tomorrow. Wait till Kalev sees this!! I was quite upset afterwards because things like this are little reminders of what is happening to my body. Please God keep me going.
Well, I've taken something for the pain and am heading off to bed.
P.S. Besides the fall, the run was great!!!
Barbara <><
An awesome run at the Cowichan Challenge
All Aboard - The Ironman Train is on Its Way
Monday, I went to the gym first thing and did a half hour workout on the bike. Anything is better than nothing. Work was hectic as I was out with someone looking for office space for a new company that we just incorporated. After work it was off to the pool for a 2600 metre swim. Oh, how I love it - not!! To top it all off there were only two lanes available to do lengths. A slow lane and a fast lane with the slow lane so slow even I was too fast!! Here I was in the fast lane with swimmers that are doing flip turns at each end of the pool just about taking anyone that stopped for a rest. I did make it through my workout - thank goodness for zoomers and pull buoys. I'm finding that the tremors in both my hands and arms from the Parkinsons are becoming more pronounced in my everyday life, but it's not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest. I'll fight this disease as long as I can and will continue to push myself to the limit with the help of my trainer Kalev and the people around me who will not allow me to give in and give up. It's a weird feeling though - it's like there's an earthquake inside of me that never stops. It's especially noticeable when I am resting. I guess I just can't rest - just kidding. After the swim, had a nice quiet evening.
Got up early today and off to the gym for another half hour workout focusing one half of Kalev's tough leg workout. It was then off to work. Went to the gym at lunch and
finished the rest of the workout working in some core exercises. I'm beginning to feel stronger and hopefully will start to lean out with all the aerobic work that has been added to my regime. Tonight I'll probably go for a short run and then it's bed. The life of an Iron Girl - I love it!!
Barbara<><
Got up early today and off to the gym for another half hour workout focusing one half of Kalev's tough leg workout. It was then off to work. Went to the gym at lunch and
finished the rest of the workout working in some core exercises. I'm beginning to feel stronger and hopefully will start to lean out with all the aerobic work that has been added to my regime. Tonight I'll probably go for a short run and then it's bed. The life of an Iron Girl - I love it!!
Barbara<><
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Family - a time of reflection
Today was a non-schedule day. I was supposed to run with one of the tri club groups this morning but couldn't muster up the energy to get out of bed. Finally at 9 a.m. I crawled out and decided I would run later in the day. Made myself a great protein shake, curled up on the couch and watched a couple of movies. The one that hit me was "Dad" starring Ted Danson and Jack Lemmon. It made me reflect on the relationship I had with my Dad (close to the end of his life) and also with my Mom now. No matter what happened in the past, they did their best they could. If you are in to sentimental movies about family dynamics, it's a good one to watch.
Finally got motivated to run at 3 p.m. and ran 1h & 50 min. Felt great. The chi running is making a difference - especially when I focus on my form. I also listen to my ipod and have a lot of Contemporary Christian music on it - my favourites being "Third Day" and "Mercy Me". Their music is inspiring and motivational.
Had a great dinner and just having a relaxing evening. Another week begins tomorrow!!
Barbara
Finally got motivated to run at 3 p.m. and ran 1h & 50 min. Felt great. The chi running is making a difference - especially when I focus on my form. I also listen to my ipod and have a lot of Contemporary Christian music on it - my favourites being "Third Day" and "Mercy Me". Their music is inspiring and motivational.
Had a great dinner and just having a relaxing evening. Another week begins tomorrow!!
Barbara
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